more of the past, which is the present

my face to rock face

toes into small crevices

there is no time here

(breath_continues_on)

it's been so long

it's been so long, i forgot how to post!

it's national poetry month, and i most certainly do not have the creative energy to write
new stuff, and, i found some year old poems.
geez, i was in some interesting places.

so, i'll post the old stuff, hoping that new stuff bubbles up.

this one is especially relevant these days.

i'm always going somewhere.
work,
store,
lover's.
home i carry with me. i have to. 
otherwise, i'd never be there.

broken

the glass is already broken

shards scattered everywhere,

the words, already spoken,

frozen in the air.

the heart is already broken,

tears have been shed,

the future is the past.

we're already dead.

bring a tent

these are random photos, in no particular chronological order, of various mountains, hikes,  climbs, and other stuff that's been happening in the last few months.
every hike, every climb, brings new insights, new astoundments (my word, not webster's), new openings. how's it going to end?

wind and hail, clouds and rain.

waiting for the next climb.

my next home.

yeah, try sitting in padmasana in hiking boots!

our most recent climb, old woman mountain. we're related, don't you know?

mt. wilson, az.  coming down from the summit, at dusk, on the night of the full moon.

full moon, full heart.

brings a new meaning to support.

yep. bring a tent.

thank you, xkcd.com
http://xkcd.com/120/

i don't know how it will end. i'm not there yet.

solstice 2012

my heart is dark
as a winter afternoon
waiting
waiting
for the change
in the light
to show
shadows short
and 
the rips and tears to heal

because...

the dark of heartness

awoke in the night

looking for comfort

and share

grabbed a handful of dark

an armful of

you're not there.

apparitional attitude

next?

what are you afraid of?

in life

in relationship

what are you afraid of?

that might happen

that won't happen

what are you afraid of?

that  you want

that you won't get

that you will get

what are you afraid of?

that you've done

that you haven't done

what are you afraid of?

that brings you to the brink

of wild love

or crushing loss

there is no difference.

Edit: i changed the music.

street

when i have time, and the energy, i walk in the neighborhood. there's been a lot of construction going on, everywhere. the markings on the street are  urban hieroglyphics. i'm sure they mean something to someone, and i am not among the cognescenti. 

 well, this one is pretty obvious. i think.

didn't know i had walked that far.

because i have to...

and for contrast...

empty glass, empty heart

past and present

these are miscellaneous shots from various hikes over the last couple of months.

heart of the tree

clouds rising

fragility in the rocks.

bristlecone butt

been a lot of places, high up on mt. charleston, where it's cooler, and you can smell the pine sap and the sage.

more to come this weekend.

we're heading up to mt. charleston, and i mean the top.
yeah, i'm nervous.

devil love

purple haze

i used to have style. really

when i was in college, lo, these many years ago, i had style.

several, and eclectic, but style.

i wore long denim skirts with gauzy indian blouses, that had bells on them.

i wore mini skirts with high leather boots and tight sweaters.

and of course, i wore jeans and t-shirts. ( i still wear those.)

i was nothing if not versatile.

i cross dressed many styles, politics, philosophies.

and i wore capes. i had two, one grey, one white. i floated across

campus at 4am, to go to my shift at the crisis intervention center, a spectre in the mist and dark. i wrapped myself in wool and mystery, and spoke to no one.

well, hell, who's awake at 4am?

the best thing was my famous blue raincoat.

it snapped from neck to ankle, swishy, bright blue. 

striking, and cool.

wish i could find a picture of it.

now, for good or ill, i have clothes.

utilitarian. last forever.

and exceedingly boring.

they wick, because i hike.

they stretch, because i teach yoga.

they are simple, because the other stuff is stupidly expensive.

my current blue raincoat.

not famous, no style, nothing alluring, nothing mysterious. 

even if i was naked under it, so what.
it's water repellent.

i can make a tent out of it.

i want to move into the next days of flamboyance, expression, eccentrism, that old people do. we just don't give a shit about opinion. we don't give a shit about much, because it's all ending anyway.

i need a hat

dance me

watch this , if you've ever loved.

morning becomes eclectic

missing levon

for some reason, i've been missing the band, and levon helm in particular. the band was a revelation for me (c'mon, music from big pink?!), musically and otherwise. levon helm had a particular place in my heart. it's my opinion that he did the best solo work of the group. robbie robertson still has places to go.

so do i.

looking back is dangerous

as satchel paige is reputed to have said, don't look back, 

something might be gaining on you.

of course, he also said, 

just take the ball and throw it where you want to. throw strikes.

home plate don't move.