life, art, what's the difference?

i've struggled with the "issue" of creativity my entire life. i was told, early and often, by family and teachers, that i was not creative, and that i had no artistic talent. in any arena. the implication was that i would NEVER have any, talent being inborn, and i was shit out of luck. and so, it became something after which i yearned, longed for, lusted after. the lack of it also became something that defined me. that lack lodged in my brain and body.

since i couldn't create, i became an accomplished audience. that was not enough.

i know a bit about how brains work, and how brain organization and perception intertwine. i know that i think differently, and see (both literally and figuratively) differently, than most. i know that now. back in the day, not so much. it's damn near impossible to hold on to your sense of self when everyone is telling you that you're crazy, wrong, or just plain weird.

i started mucking out the augean stables of non-creative crap. well, that's a life's work, if you're not hercules!

all of this is a long way 'round to saying, the tectonic plates have shifted, expression has erupted. aftershocks continue. the effects are not confined to the usual artistic endeavors. it is spreading to every facet of life. life itself is becoming an artistic endeavor.

from oscar wilde:

life has been your art.
you have set yourself to music.
your days are your sonnets.

finally, finally, it all comes down to recognizing, honoring, and acting on, what you know, in your heart, to be true.