home is where the heart is

the chaos in my heart
wants a meeting.
it has an agenda.
whence comes this havoc?
dammit.

the infrastructure is dissolving,
the veil is thin.
the past no longer matters,
the future does not exist.

ah.
meeting adjourned.

going on sablogittal

i'm done, at least for the time being.
i'm in need of a pause that refreshes.
my eyes and brain are tired. i've been feeling sad and depressed about my photos. i'm repeating myself.
i don't like how i'm seeing, what i'm seeing, what i'm photographing, or how my photos are looking these days. and i'm getting pret-ty damn tired of flowers. among other things.
and of course, no sooner do i say that, things begin to change.
be careful what you wish for...

while i will most certainly be reading and commenting, no photo posts.

uh oh.
already feeling the twangs of withdrawal.
must...leave...blog...

purple dreams

by the numbers

i have a fascination with the fibonacci sequence.

just when you think it's safe to go back in the water

will no one rid me of these troublesome lilies??
--apologies (not many) to henry II, speaking of thomas becket)

if it's monday, this must be...

going down in flames

(couldn't resist)

curves and light II

Trust the gods within,
accept given boons.
Illusion is reality's border:
Pierce fear to go beyond.
--365 Tao, day 78

curves and light

so tired

the color of the dead...

the color of the dead

is not gray.

the light shows through
the dimming day.
breathe in light,
breathe out the same.
the color of the dead
is not gray.

have a heart

out of the blue

and that's all i have to say today.

spring-bah, humbug!

let me explain.
spring, or more accurately, the transition from winter to spring, is difficult.

winter, energetically speaking, is a time for deep hibernation, rest, replenishment of our resources. this is what our systems yearn for - to go deep within.
at least, that's what it's supposed to be. in our culture, what it ends up being, due to various religious and secular holidays, is one long, draining party. no rest. no renewal. no attention paid to the rhythms of nature, outside or inside.

then spring shows up. a HUGE push of energy, all that blooming, propagating, birthing stuff. and we're supposed to do all this on no rest? people get cranky. i once worked in an acupuncture office, and learned a great deal about energy shifts. i can now tell the MINUTE the seasonal energy changes towards spring. (i got yelled at on the phone, bitched out by the ups guy, snapped at by dogs... well, you get the idea.)
and then there's allergies.

so, if you don't like spring, rest assured you are in good company.

summer makes me drowsy,
autumn makes me sing,
winter's pretty lousy,
but i hate spring.

-dorothy parker

and if you do like it, here:

honest, i didn't know callas came in yellow.

linda, this one's for you

i've lived in this nut job of a city for a little over 3 years. when i first arrived, i did what i always do in a new place. i searched out the libraries, the yoga studios, and the used bookstores. oh yeah, and the grocery stores.

in the used bookstore category, i found gold.
not only did i find a marvelous bookstore, i found friends. brilliant, creative, caring, talented, warm, open-hearted friends. we nurture, amuse, stimulate and aggravate each other. friends!

linda is one of them. she owns the bookstore, dead poet books. she reads this, and other, blogs. she's lived here for 20+ years, and knows this place. she is a staunch supporter of my foray into photography. she critiques my photos, and tells me the truth. she has listened to my woes, and told me when to suck it up. she is an artist, a businesswoman, and is talented in ways that make my jaw drop.

she's had some tough times of late, tough enough to make any other person walk off a cliff. she, however, is tougher than the times.

so linda, this one is for you, with all my heart.
i wish i could do more, hon.

i've got a lot of damn nerve

for those of you who have visited digital existence (and if you haven't, go there, now!), you know that once known as the badger is a wondrous photographer, of all things floral, and especially of iris.

to say that i am not in his league is an epic understatement. i'm not sure we're even playing the same game.

be that as it may, i'm posting these, with trepidation and a sizeable amount of chutzpah. to place any of my photos in a public forum makes me anxious. more so, when i know that comparisons are inevitable.

don't get me wrong, i'm not apologizing for them. i'm acknowledging the level at which i'm working, where it is and where it isn't.

it isn't easy being green

and this is just right.

should wisdom arrive, i'll be there

these days
i am wondering
about the wisdom of anything.
i just don't see it.
anomie, buddhism, carrots.
not there.
dementia, effluent, foreplay,
nope.
garage sales, harmonicas, inertia,
no.
juggling, kowtowing, lace,
huh?
marsupials, nihilism, orgasm,
nyet.
placidity, quarks, ramadan,
niente.
sloth, tea, usury,
not yet.
verisimilitude, wingnuts, x chromosomes,
nada.
yoni, zorro.
not even close.
i'll wait.

in the beginning, there was yellow

blogger buddy tag has expressed a fondness for daffodils.
(yes, i do take requests!)
each type of flower has its own energy, nature, personality.
i still have a lot to learn about these. this is the first lesson.

it will flame out...

...like shining from shook foil.
-gerard manley hopkins
(whose poetry i don't much like, but he's got some great one-liners)